Kampala Snake Park: not for the faint hearted

Kajjansi for long has been known for their specialization in clay works. The town harbors the Lweza, Africana and Uganda Clays Limited; these are three of the biggest clay workshops in Uganda.

And, just to emphasize that they own the art, they have those half brinks named after the town; Kajjansi, as known to many Ugandans.

It’s believed that almost 30% of families in the out shirts of Kajjansi survive on pottery and other clay works that, even as you walk down the dusty road, the displayed charcoal stoves, half bricks and clay roofs were enough evidence that in this place, curving and molding staff out of clay is no rocket science.  

In my mind, I could imagine one of the residential kids standing in front of the camera to claim what he believes; “Clay, it is the strength of a nation.” (I wonder what the army thinks about this advert)

When I visited Kajjansi a few weeks back, I didn’t think of any alarming signposts besides bars, schools, churches and of course clay workshops.

It’s because of this that the sign post reading “Kampala Snake Park” truly took me by surprise. I wondered; which kind of people would visit a Snake Park, which kind of people would live next to a snake park? Which kind of people would even dedicate their time to run a collection of rattles…mbu Snake Park? For crying out it is a SNAKE PARK.

The curiosity made this trip materialize and, not to be caught off guard, I travelled all suited for snake warfare.

The snake park is about 3 kilometers off the main road. In my mind we were heading to some deserted grey area without a neighborhood, the reptiles would be all over the place, trees and some probably rubbing shoulders with us.

On such adventure, I opted for more protective wear like a trouser replacing my usual travel shorts, long sleeved T-shirt and a jacket on top and yes, I had gloves in my pocket just in case.

The actual snake park is quite a small affair; huts, house or snake pens, whatever name they call these shelters; they don’t look like one to house even a spider.

In fact, when the boda boda guy dropped me off, I still asked him If he had brought me to the right place. It had to be a place only for the brave ones yet, all I was seeing was a mini African recreation center.

We headed to the reception, it was a cool place, and the temperatures here would make you forget about the blistering sun rays on your way.

The assistant at the reception took us to Charlotte Nankunda Kyaterekera, the director of the park and Kenneth Semyalo, the snake handler.

Both Charlotte and Kenneth were at the Python cage. They were digging a hole for a white something.

“These are the eggs of the python,” said Charlotte of the rugged white thing.

“They are about forty eggs, but, when the female python coils around them for warmth, they get attached.” She said.

“Soon, we shall be adding about forty reptiles to our family.” She concluded happily.

She led us to the first snake shelter; they were beautifully built with an artistic decoration. The shelters were built using the Masengere rocks which look too beautiful and fit to house humans. Unlike bricks, the Masengere don’t produce extreme heat, they easily provide a cool moist atmosphere that snakes enjoy. Since all building at the park are similar, this explains the very cool moist at the reception.

The interior of the shelters is designed to suit the snake species inhabiting the rooms. There were trees, sand and a pond of water in each. For some like the Jackson’s tree snakes, the trees and grass were greener and fresh, just like in the wild. Part of the shelter roof was only covered with a thick net, the opening was to allow the snake access natural light.

Each room had between two to four snakes of the same species; it’s only the house and green snake species that shared a room. According to Kenneth these two are friendly towards other snakes.

“When snakes of different species are put together, one specie would eat these weaker ones”, he said.

However, as in regard to the forest cobra, all this changes. The forest cobras (the most common ones in Uganda) eat their own species, thus the bigger forest cobras don’t share rooms with their young ones.

Kenneth is truly a trained handler. He walked into the forest cobras’ den and stood face to face with these aggressive predators with nothing but a metallic rod to direct them. You could think they understood who he was.

He told us quite a number of interesting facts about the snakes in the park. All the snakes shade off their skin once in a month apart from the Vipers that only shade once in 2 months, in fact the ponds in snake shelters was for them to make a swim before they shade.

He differentiated to us between the old and new skin, the old skin looked pale and rough yet the new skin was shinny, attractive like those snakes in movies and magazines. The python (central African rock) being the biggest had more new skin to show thus, in regard to a python, new skin is weirdly very beautiful to look at.

In his explanation, Kenneth told us that snakes grow fats, and as they do, they outgrow their old skin too.

“At the time of shading, the snakes splits the old skin at the nose and crawls out of it,” he said.

Its one process that scientists would die to witness but even when many of the snakes possessed the old skin, Kenneth was sure we were not witnessing any of them shade.

Kenneth also doubles as the snakes’ feeders, he says, “Snakes feed twice in a month apart from the python which feeds once in a month.”

They feed on chicks, hens, birds, toads, chameleons and rats. The python however feed on goats, for the 8 or so feet long one and rabbits for the smaller one.  Snakes are fed according to their weight, once over fed, they die.

Most of the snakes in the park include the forest and Egyptian cobra, pretty and neat venomous species; they will lift their heads and spread out their hood when you approach their den.

Jameson’s mamba, fast moving, diurnal, secretive tree snake, it climbs fast and expertly.

Jackson’s tree snake, this particular one made an attempt on us with its mouth wide and fangs out. The poor thing must be cursing the dude who invented glass, which was the only barrier between us and it’s ill intentions.

The forest vine snake, according to Charlotte and Kenneth is the most dangerous snake on the park. Small as it looks, it’s the only Ugandan snake without any anti-venom to date.

“When that one bites you, there is little we can do to help you survive.” She says.

Its color is quite confusing that it can camouflage with dry bits of wood and still goes unnoticed.

Besides snakes the park is also home to reptiles; monitor lizards, crocodiles, telepines and the tortoises. Other species include a serval cat, spotted common large genet and the velvet monkey.

The park was established on 25^th December 2009 and today, they have a collection of more than 15 snake species and over 70 snakes.

The park attracts both local and foreigners on a Ugandan visit.

“The attitude of the Ugandans towards snakes is changing, many have started frequenting this place to see the creatures” she says.

When she mentioned the change of attitude, I couldn’t help but remember the conversation I had with the Boda boda guy on my way.

He had told me of a rich man whose house was invaded by a relatively smaller python, on learning about it, he called the police, military police, and Anti-riot police, made an alert that the entire neighborhood gathered and finally called the Ugandan Wildlife Authority. Even when they removed it, he had the fully repainted, relocated for three months before returning….attitude changing towards snakes, maybe, maybe not.        

    

     

Wandegeya: A street in a food

In kampala,  uganda’s dusty capital, is Wandegeya, a city town and a beehive of activity.

The town never sleeps that it was dubbed the New York of Kampala, Its less than five minutes from the city centre. But that’s not all, Wandegs as it’s usually referred tois so famous among the youth that, for many visiting the country for the first time, it screams larger than life party capital.

To begin with, the town like many others has two operating systems, the day system and the night system.

The day system; this is the commercial session of wandegeya and involves everyone. From the highly insulting Bodaboda dude to Mama Stella of the food Kiosk, men in well pressed trousers or women in classy knit skirts or some university babe scrolling away on some high tech gadget and constantly blushing away some imaginary fly, Wandegeya is always a hub of activities during the day.

The night system; for the reputation Uganda has, I must say this is the best part of many Ugandans’ day, this particular session defines Ugandans, our party culture, our lives and so, it does define Wandegeya too. It’s the time that the dreaded Wandegeya comes to life and twice busier.

As night continues to fall, the character of Wandegeya too continues to unveil, you can easily read it like a book, as the street lights illuminate the walk way, the lines in the Wandegeya catalogue became even clearer; food, business and glamour.

Because of my undying love for food, this article will mainly focus on the food galore that Wandegaya is, and street food that is.

Micungwa, butunda, ffenne, kasooli, nkoko, kibumba, nsenene, mandazi, chapatti, bogoya and gonja are some of the foods that make Wandegeya a food haven yet, the list is not even a quarter of the different types of food prepared and sold on the streets of Wandegs.

Apart from nsenene, all the items above are sold throughout the year.

Nsenene/ longhorned grasshoppers/ bush crickets are a famous delicacy in the central; these edible bugs usually show up in the month of November, and since time immemorial, it’s referred to as the grasshopper season. It’s on such good reasoning that our very wise fore fathers gave November its local name; mwezigwamusenene (month of grasshoppers).

Every year around this time, the nsenene business is booming because of the overwhelming demands.

But, even with their occultic fame, the insects have not fully distanced themselves away from political drama and controversies.

In 2011, opposition MPs claimed that corruption and misbehaving by some politicians had scared the long legged bugs and thus the scarcity that year.

Besides that, the insects have been linked to mischief, in Buganda; it’s a bad omen to dream about bush crickets, it’s a death prophecy…allegedly.

The accusations the nsenene face come from all directions, the electricity board, village dad, reckless driver and also teachers in schools, with such pressure pilling, the suitable name for these bugs would be the worst one of titles “beautiful but unlucky”.

If they were to be confined, I guess it would be a place that even kony would describe as hell…yes I actually mean Kony the 2012 youtube star.

However, this is not an article on bush crickets thus, I will leave the topic for one of my other projects though, back to Wandegeya and food, the most famous delicacy in Wandegeya is the chapatti rolled with omelet/ fried eggs.

A chapatti rolled up with vegetable omelet is popularly known as a rolex.

The history of a rolex has always been sketchy but according to those interested, the legendary delicacy originated from this very place, Wandegs.

The name is a short form of the actual action of rolling the chapatti, it’s said that Rolex is a play on words: “roll eggs”. In fact, any name similarities to a famous watch brand is totally a coincident.  

In Kampala a rolex is always as good as the person that makes it. In Uganda generally, the business of making chapattis is monopolized by people of the Basoga grouping that much as the rolex was invented in Wandegeya, the public will only pass it to be good if it was rolled by a musoga, they own the catalogue and copyrights of the best rolex.

At night, many of them set their stalls and get ready for business, not to be out done, many try to reach out to the public by making their Busoga background known just by the way they brand their businesses; Busoga best chapattis, Muna Rolex, Kadaga Waife, Mwana wa kyabazinga Rolex company limited…….yes company.

Since its creation, the ingredients of this famous cuisine have remained the same; a chapatti, the one we imported from india and then made famous by our brothers from Jinja. The other ingredient being the eggs and a couple of vegetables or salads. Since a rolex has never been produced professionally, no one knows the exact measurements of the ingredients involved.

The process of making one is simple; two or more eggs are mixed with shredded cabbage, onions, and tomatoes. The skill used here is no different from the one used to make a chapatti, it’s flipped a couple of times before a chapatti is laid on top. The two are then rolled together.

Because a rolex is cheap food bought on the streets, packaging has never been an issue; it’s usually wrapped in a page from an old newspaper.

Chapattis have always had a special place on different breakfast tables; they have been with us through thick and thin, especially thin. It’s one of those fast that have remained affordable for years, the cheapest chapatti goes ugx shs 300/=.

In the wake of Obama’s popularity in 2008, a chapatti line had been discovered under the brand, Obama Chapattis, they were served along with beans which were referred to as Michelle.

The franchise became a hit attracting competitors like Gaddafi chapattis. After the overthrow and death of the Libyan leader, Gaddafi chapatti got a lot of sympathy votes which somehow (allegedly) forced Obama out of the market.  

Today, even in death, Gaddafi still thrives in Wandegeya.

Chapattis and Rolex have the weirdest number of names, from Straka, Nkokoto, defender, titanic, buliti to nine-nine and kayinja.

A Rolex is one cuisine that crossed the Nile with all the love. Today it has become one of the basics that define a university student. Its might thrives in different hostel rooms that, it’s literally hard to have been to Makerere University when you have never tasted one.

A foreign student once referred to it as the world’s purest pizza ummmm.

Wandegeya food vendors even offer variety, well,…in case one wants a treat, there is the Wandegeya fried chicken. This is our customized alternate to the international Kentucky Fried Chicken; it’s prepared on little electronic stalls. Full chicken goes for Ugshs. 15,000/= (about 7 USD). It is prepared in a way that will totally quench your thirst for fried chicken for at least three months. In our local hotels, restaurants and food lounges, full chicken goes for a cool Ug shs. 80,000 – 150,000 (about 35-50 USD) now, this can buy a mobile phone in Kampala.

None of these foods are overly spiced; in fact many of them are merely plain.

Wandegeya is a self contained town that even after a hot chicken meal, there are vendors ready to supply all sorts of local and international liquor.

The street houses the only wine office in Kampala; they are dealers in exotic brands of wines and spirits but in the outskirts of the same street are liquor dealers selling wine in used mineral water bottles, some wine whose label suggests it’s called wine and other tough and probably illegal staff.

With street food, local brew, hard liquor and a string of bars a student in Wandegeya would easily make his Las Vegas colleague sound like an innocent choir boy.

This is a place that seems to have it all and in such a place, you can’t under estimate the power of suggestion. Anything is possible in a Wandegeya night; it’s a boutique, restaurant, supermarket and electronic shop.

In fact, one of the shops I usually buy credit from is partitioned to sell refreshments, cell phones and credit, boutique, video library, saloon and ......... digital TV equipments of course there are no equipments to look at but the sign post says they do.

Wandegeya’s entertainment relationship has always been awkward and confusing. First, its one of the top entertainment piracy centres and just last year, the government was planning a major crack down on music and movie pirates but, some musicians came out to defend them as “promoters”.

The same artistes have continuously added on to the entertainment scene of Wandegeya due to a fact that they’ve more than once been turned its bars into fighting arenas against fellow musicians.

Back to piracy, Wandegeya is one of those places where all the recreation material, books, novels, movies and the drama are pirated. It’s in such a place that you find a plastic packaged DVD of Keeping up with the Kardashians season one, with Kardashians spelt like it’s a town or county in Afaghanstan and, they still get the guts to label the product with an “Original copy” tag.

Not only in Wandegeya, piracy is almost lagal everywhere, in fact, they even pay tax…..that only happens in Uganda.

Wandegeya almost has it all though, it’s not the absolute number one food place in the land. They face competition from Kansanga, Kabalagala, Ntinda, Kamwokya and Nankulabye.............. In fact the entire Kampala is a street food parlor by night.

I wonder how they continuously snub ranking us among the famous street food cities!!!!

Though, unlike Kampala the ranked cities in the west, issue a series of business and health permits to street vendors, of course, if you asked if the Ugandan Health Ministry issued any, you may be lucky missing arrest for slander.

Late in 2011, Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) regulated the street vendors, including the food sellers but, this is Uganda. There are make shift stands for selling, these things only appear at night, by morning the streets are clearer than white.

Thus regardless of what one thinks, Kampala and Wandegeya’s street food is still with us, for those planning to visit, Wandegeya is a fun site for any food junkie, ghetto food to be specific.

They may be so far away from making a mark on the world’s fine dine or spice scene but for an easy cheap meal Wandegeya is a sure win. 

Two minutes with Mr. Vegas

I love my job for a number of reasons; I wake up at 10:00am, face book during work hours and, in this kind of profession, hanging out through the night is called looking for stories, my editor calls it hard work.

Part of my working description is talking with celebrities, attending exotic parties called exhibitions and theme nights. Now, as a journalist, such privileges get many girls turning my way. They believe I have the magic to fulfill their dream of being a Bebe Cool video Vixen. Thus, like Liverpool, Andrew never walks alone…..at night.

During the street jam, all my journalism gems came into play. I pulled a number of strings, calls and just like that, I was backstage.

In fact, as Samson Baraga was sweeping the place with a camera, I was backstage in my own, “Me time” and enjoying all the action in 3D.

There were a number of Ugandan artistes suckling all sorts of staff that produced white smoke and since Mr. Vegas was in our proximity, Jamaican slangs and lingual came in a high gear. In fact, I also used the word bomboclat a number of times ...just to fit in.

Then Mr. Vegas came, since I had met him earlier at the Serena based NTV, some of his crew members easily recognized me especially the female dancer, “hey you,” she said, plus other sentences I didn’t and will never understand. I think she was greeting me again.

I reached out to Mr. Vegas and shook his rather soft hands, he too said some staff (which I obviously didn’t understand) I nodded once in approval then disagreed at the same time.

When I reached for my camera to take pictures with them, the mean guys they came with objected and thus denying my facebook page one hell of a profile picture with Mr. Vegas’ blessed dancer.

However, as I was still enjoying my language barrier moments with the heads high singer and his crew, one overly passionate upcoming artiste walked to the crew and blurted out some of our Kampala made Jamaican slangs. Mr. Vegas turned to his Ugandan entourage for interpretations, they were chasing blanks and the inspired artiste couldn’t stop talking.

When the sassy dancer turned to me for help, I laughed and argued the artiste was indeed a city comedian. I walked away unceremoniously to avoid further interpretation embarrassments.

For a moment, the incident got me thinking of all our Jamaican inspired music, if Mr. Vegas and his crew from Kingston couldn’t understand it, then who does?

It reminded me of another incident when Jamaican Demarco and Wayne Wonder were in town, during a press conference, a renown dancehall artist tried to pose questions using our Kisenyi coded Jamaican slangs, Demarco kept pardoning and asking for the meaning of what this dude was saying. By the time he was done with his question, the Uga-Jamaican had turned English.

Now with the recent one at the Vegas do, I highly doubt if these boys understand what they even say is those bu songs of theirs, I hear “dema kankana when dey ma see mi,” umm.

Baffled by a TV advert

In my opinion sex is not compulsory in a real relationship; it’s just a bonus for good behavior. But just like I said, that’s just my opinion (which is so right).

Very many times I’ve come under fire because of my opinion about movies, music, radio and TV adverts, it’s like I just can’t get my mouth shut, I keep talking and talking like they would pay me for it.

But I don’t blame myself either, if you were in my shoes, you too would get irked by some of our radio or even TV adverts. And in any way I know you too would rant about many of them.

You will even wonder who shot, directed and also did the copy write. Just the other day I watched one of our funniest TV advert, as you may know, this blockbuster of an ad features our one and only Olympics medalist.

We all love Steven Kiprotich, he won our only gold in 40 years and he indeed deserves the praise but that advert!

It kicks off with a rather young and fat Steven Kiprotich, with a desire to become a world champion, even when the advert is set in Uganda’s 1990s, the young boy is donning a 2012 designed shirt but that’s not the issue with this advert. The real problem is at the end of it where Kiprotich is sipping water at the top of some bushy hill.

When I first watched the advert alone, I thought it was good in fact I applauded the creativity though, when I watched it with my niece, I totally changed my mind after a question she asked.

“Why is he wearing his medal in the bush”, she asked and that’s when I saw all the flaws in my lovely advert.

I realized that Kiprotich didn’t have to climb that bushy mountain to drink packaged water, he was even putting on a coat and a flag wrapped around him even though it looked really hot. Was this advert meant to prove that Uganda is such a safe haven that even with a Gold medal you can climb hills and mountains without any one stealing it?

Then that water he used to refresh after running, did someone forget his bottle only for Kiprotich to donate it to himself or some dude was involved in charity activities of placing mineral water bottles in suspicious places? Bottom line where did the water come from?

Such are the adverts we see on TV, at times, they even get politicians and church leaders talking. Some are simply part of the sermon and others are slotted into Museveni’s speech as random jokes. Haven’t you guys heard him grumble with words like “we no longer do this”?

That’s when I realized that even with his busy schedule; the president actually has some time for TV, if he could only call in during live shows.  I think he could obviously end up putting a ban on that advert where kids systematically usurp UPDF’s powers with elephants, mbu it’s the strength of a nation.

And now, just the other day a famous pastor came out to protest and probably tell us that he actually takes his TV serious. Dude had been scratched the wrong way by an advert where the phrase “am leaving you old boy” was a ringtone.

The advert left the pastor’s head spinning not believing what Ugandans were up to, he promised to sue the company that owned the advert and before we knew, the advert was remade and thus reuniting the old couple, how I miss that Namalayo shirt from the first edition.

This however is not the first time the clergy have been involved in TV adverts, there was that one where, some dude used a phone application to change his voice to sway the pastor’s daughter and a prominent one indeed. This too met a lot of criticism and it was also taken off air……just like that.

Ugandans have always been at it with advertising, not always the best but they will get the message home, just of recent, someone in an advert calling on people to attend his concert declared that the blind will enter free of charge, but, sincerely why would a blind person opt to watch a show in the first place?

In my opinion, such an advert is not any different from the other one where you lose your I phone5 to a thief and they tell you not to worry…mbu be happy. Mocking us just.

Then we have these people who do adverts for foreign artistes’ concerts, they put a lot of emphasis on when he will alive but after the show, no one tells us when they actually leave, for me I want to know, so that I can review staff of their friends in their presence, trash their concert or better, send greetings to the only family member of mine living in the US. I think show organizers should reconsider, but any way, this too is just part of my sick opinions.

Robin launches New Vibes theme night

A couple of months back, we reported that NTV’s Log In presenter had started her own music label and she was recruiting artistes.  As it’s known in Uganda, she was written off even before some went into details.

Well on Wednesday 27^th, Robin Kistie kicked off the Easter Festivities by officially launching the New Vibes records and theme night at Club Galaxy.

Unlike many Ugandan shows that usually choose to start past midnight, Robin kick started the show at about 9:30pm with a routine dance by the One Creators’ troupe.

At this time the turn up was still a lukewarm one and Robin was probably burning her fingers in prayers that more people show up though this didn’t stop the performances to commence.

The show that attracted more Luga-flow rappers started with energetic performances by upcoming MCs; Omujambula, Knuckle P, Luga battalion and other rappers we’ve never and probably may not hear of again.

Like many hip hop dominated events, free style ciphers were common though knuckle P took it to the wire when he dared other rappers to a four minute free style rhyme. St. Nelly Sade didn’t necessarily match the former’s free style length but literally got everyone on the edge with his wordplay. He’s the only rapper of the night that did it without a beat to support.

His eloquence and poetry in Luganda was simply unmatched, he pronounces words, proverbs and tongue twisters with such ease. He later did songs from his latest Translation (okutaputa) album like Nzijukira, Kikola sense, Tula twogere and Tubaale, a collabo with Enygma.  

“New Vibes like you may know is basically an RnB and hiphop label so this is a night to celebrate that”, said Robin.

Real action however started when Tommy Race of the Kimenke and Muzimu gwa Nankya fame stepped on stage, he ensured that he raises the performance bar so high which set the tempo for the entire do.

Then Vocal Police’s Nutty Neithan wowed with his famous Bounce it single, he had a number of would be hits thus, this raising artiste may be a force to reckon with especially in our local Dancehall arena.

There was an interluding segment where one London based Ugandan designer, Zaina showcased leisure, evening, office and African fabric wears. Since the fashion bit of the night had been highly publicized, I personally expected to see more designs but they were just a few and it also ended unceremoniously, I guess many of the night patrons didn’t even get a chance to know how Zaina even looked like. The entire fashion part of the night was so rushed.

Just like many social events these days, Shisha, was a delicacy many demanded. A number of times you could pass by youths refreshing themselves with smoke.

The first New Vibes artiste to perform was J-Ssali, he did an acoustic song in Swahili, and, judging by his actions or facial expression, the lyrics may have been about lost love. His vocals were spot on and the two guitar guys that backed him knew their stuff. With an objective musical judgment, this guy literally ruled the night.

Kyle and Remmy of Uptown also excited their dominately female fanbase with songs like, Face book lover, Bahamas girl, a collabo with Big Trill and their latest Nakuwaza.

The video of Nakuwaza was later screened. The Robin Kistie directed video is good on color and location, for a first time video director, Nakuwanza is definitely an A plus for Robin.

Uptown was closely followed by other New Vibes artistes like G.squard, probably Uganda’s only crank rap troupe and the fans favorite rapper of the night, Philo Sofa, however, two people from the label provided the high lights of the entire night. First being one Lil Rezzy, Robin’s youngest artist, at 13, the young rapper managed to comfortably hold a three minute free style of his own, his stage management and presence left many begging for his birth certificate.

Then the second and biggest surprise of the night was Robin Kistie stepping onto the stage to perform, it seems even some members of New Vibes were too surprised on learning that she actually has a song out. Her performance was full of energy though, many rarely paid attention because they were still in shock.

Other performers of the night included Maro, Big Trill, Vampino among others. The do was widely attended by Robin’s comrades from NTV and other media houses plus cameos by GNL Zamba, Swangz Avenue’s Benon, rapper Lethal P.

The New Vibes theme night will take place every last Wednesday of the month at Club Galaxy, the next do will take place on the 24^th April which also doubles as Robin’s birthday.