Okay, seem holidays came a bit quick this time. You know with sugar at 8000/-, fuel escalating and the Arab awakening, it’s not good at all [can’t you ask your self why NTV’S “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” went off just after months] staff is tight.
And now that kids are back for a month, you need to plan for them, they need to school even at home [some of them are candidates you know]. To keep in shape academically these boys and girls usually sign up for different Holiday programmes and lf at all you thought Holiday sessions are simply read ups, you are wrong..
Today, you will wonder that when you talk about Holiday studies, a teenage daughter’s face will beam with a few places in mind. These are common places like Bat valley, Buganda Road main library and perhaps KCC library. When a daughter smiles to a holiday proposal, no parent should be fooled. She has no crush on education and neither his friends.
For them this means proggie. The only time she won’t have to sneak out of that hard locked gate. The only time she will freely move with that guy holding hands, tossing sand [like JLO and that actor……….. ehhh] with out any prefect or teacher accusing them of coupling.
Holiday sessions can be fun , with a whole lot of characters, school girls becamehotter overnight and guys lose weight, there trousers can never stay within the waist line they always fall below.
Like many people say, kids are more wannabes in holiday. They show up in the latest vee all ready to tell whoever cares that they go to this and that school. Their gadgets are always spot on (oba where do they get the tons of money?)
Few students really come for holiday sessions with academics on their minds, no wonder their girls are easily destructed (how do you think I got this info?). Though there are also those who actually mean business mbu these are chaps from SMACK, Namugongo, and the likes.
Other holiday makers simply have a lot of time on their hands to talk and brag about things they have never done. They will talk about clubbing and downing staff in colored bottles yet in reality they have never done any of these things in fact they simply wish they could do at least few of those things. Many of them are mummy’s boys thus the only time they hang out is with the family at Watoto church.
Holiday guys can be mesmerizing, can you imagine they even beep, flash each other so that every one in the room gets to know that they have Beyonce running the world as the ring tone?
Holidays are simply one hell of an overly hyped routine. It’s a place where you find rich kids with no clue of good fashion or design is and then, ironically a broke dude trying so hard to create an impression. If you tried following them home you would be shocked. Broke guys bling more than any one else (I hear true hustle).
Kale these guys are funny, with the way they talk about swag, you will wonder how many can actually spell the damn word (save that they have a news pull out where it was even wrongly spelt) but all in all, holidays, the madness and swag are simply part of education.
Okay, seem holidays came a bit quick this time. You know with sugar at 8000/-, fuel escalating and the Arab awakening, it’s not good at all [can’t you ask your self why NTV’S “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” went off just after months] staff is tight.
And now that kids are back for a month, you need to plan for them, they need to school even at home [some of them are candidates you know]. To keep in shape academically these boys and girls usually sign up for different Holiday programmes and lf at all you thought Holiday sessions are simply read ups, you are wrong..
Today, you will wonder that when you talk about Holiday studies, a teenage daughter’s face will beam with a few places in mind. These are common places like Bat valley, Buganda Road main library and perhaps KCC library. When a daughter smiles to a holiday proposal, no parent should be fooled. She has no crush on education and neither his friends.
For them this means proggie. The only time she won’t have to sneak out of that hard locked gate. The only time she will freely move with that guy holding hands, tossing sand [like JLO and that actor……….. ehhh] with out any prefect or teacher accusing them of coupling.
Holiday sessions can be fun , with a whole lot of characters, school girls becamehotter overnight and guys lose weight, there trousers can never stay within the waist line they always fall below.
Like many people say, kids are more wannabes in holiday. They show up in the latest vee all ready to tell whoever cares that they go to this and that school. Their gadgets are always spot on (oba where do they get the tons of money?)
Few students really come for holiday sessions with academics on their minds, no wonder their girls are easily destructed (how do you think I got this info?). Though there are also those who actually mean business mbu these are chaps from SMACK, Namugongo, and the likes.
Other holiday makers simply have a lot of time on their hands to talk and brag about things they have never done. They will talk about clubbing and downing staff in colored bottles yet in reality they have never done any of these things in fact they simply wish they could do at least few of those things. Many of them are mummy’s boys thus the only time they hang out is with the family at Watoto church.
Holiday guys can be mesmerizing, can you imagine they even beep, flash each other so that every one in the room gets to know that they have Beyonce running the world as the ring tone?
Holidays are simply one hell of an overly hyped routine. It’s a place where you find rich kids with no clue of good fashion or design is and then, ironically a broke dude trying so hard to create an impression. If you tried following them home you would be shocked. Broke guys bling more than any one else (I hear true hustle).
Kale these guys are funny, with the way they talk about swag, you will wonder how many can actually spell the damn word (save that they have a news pull out where it was even wrongly spelt) but all in all, holidays, the madness and swag are simply part of education.
It all started when some bimbo with lipstick took over the
social pages.
This wasn’t about a new song but her spending behavior, she
bought all the expensive booze in the expensive hang out joints, I hear, in her
only charity venture she bought a car for Bebe cool’s wife.
And just last week it all went to the wire when one no
nonsense Catherine Bamugemereire (who was also hot) sent the Black theory to
the cell. In fact this judge completed and exceeded the saying: from grass to grace to Club silk to Luzira
(not the residential Luzira by the way).
There she went, with all her heavy makeup, the fame she had
religiously robbed from Golola, and her
twitter followers (I mean the girls she walked with………………..shaaa Bad black was
not on Twitter poor thing can’t even spell the darned word).
I think she got fascinated by colored things like Red
Carpet, Red pepper, Chameleon, Barry White, Black Berry and thus “Bad Black”.
She even beat Chameleon to the number of names: Shanitah Namuyimba a.k.a
Latifah Nalukenge a.k.a Bad Black a.k.a Bad Gal A.K.A…………..oh that was all.
Some say she was a celebrity whose star dust had a sell by
date and on 12th Thursday last week it simply went bad and flashed
away. But as its commonly lamented fame doesn’t rub off, even if all you did
was keep quiet in some South African house like Philbert (I guess you don’t
remember him, well I also don’t) when you mess up or die the press will show up.
So in the Black saga the media fully covered her and Meddie being forced onto
the prison trucks.
Talking about Meddie, this is the one guy whose back went
against the ropes on behalf of the many guys who enjoyed bad black’s “hard
earned” cash, by the way by many guys I mean Coco Finger, Kim Simanya Swagga,
eehhhhhhhhhh someone is screaming Bebe Cool nze I didn’t.
I saw the look on Bad black’s face and at one time I was
sure she had no idea of what the entire case was about, In fact according to me
she looked at this case as one of those misunderstandings where you steal from
a lover’s wallet. If one journalist went to seek for her opinion, I guess she
could have told them this was a price discrimination case where she overrated
her services from a mere 11k to some eleven with more zeros to lean on.
She smiled when the when the judge read the sentence, a sign
that she has a plan B and in this plan she will use some of the money to get a
tattoo baring the entire plan of Uganda, she will use that to escape and then
hide on some imaginary island she bought with part of the money and while there
she will try to see that she doesn’t mysteriously find her face in one of these
pages or herself on some famous musician’s lap.
And now that Bad black has been arrested, life must move on but
too bad for our sloppy Ugandan babes, no white dude will offer them such
amounts again too bad for them that I even asked myself “can a young nigga
(read UG babe) make money anymore?” (Any similarities in that question and a
Kanye West song are totally a coincident).
This Bad Black has actually charged many people’s minds,
like some dude, in his letter to his future kids; they had the liberty to date
older white guys “as long as they are rich” dude changed that close and went
conservative.
Though on a positive note this case has proved to Ugandan
guys that it’s possible to sue that Bad Black like girlfriend who probably ate
your hard borrowed rent money. By now
she must have left you in a worse situation than the one Tsamboki left Golola.
But you know what to do now just bad black her sorry self and she will end up
being roommates with the real bad black, may be they will share the prison open
bars.
Now, for at least the next for years the girl with the once
biggest swagwill rub shoulders with
wadens and different cooks who will of course call her by one of her many
A.K.As.
And as she enjoys the yellow uniform guys on Twitter are
still making sure she trends with topics like #Badblack will get out, Badblack
movie titles and many more. Just like everyone, I won’t be left out and I think
#BadBlackWillGetOut: when Kanye signs Kenzo….lol.
When people read that title, there are more chances they
will ask for my head or question my authority to doubt their beloved. I’m a
young trained Ugandan journalist, which means I have the right to comment and
give my opinion which is usually right.
For about a decade Chameleon has been deemed as the number
one artist in the land, a title he aptly gave himself and constantly brags
about.
Ugandans believe in him so much that at one time they felt
that the PAM awards and the Ugandan music industry at large couldn’t survive
without his husky voice. They believe in him so much that when someone started
a web rumor that Chameleon is Africa’s number six, some Ugandans were ready to
buy the lie.
For me and my very intelligent opinion, Chameleon is truly
Uganda’s most influential artist but calling him the best or most gifted
Ugandan artist regardless of who you are is simply naïve.
Lets get to the drawing board how do international platforms
like Forbes rate an artiste as the best or number one? They look at the single
and album sales (something the Ugandan and many African industries have no clue
about). The awards nominated and won, this usually includes the local minority,
major and international awards. In Ugandan terms the local minority awards
would be Buzz Teeniez and all those awards that held only a single ceremony. In
the US this would be the Teens Choice Awards, MTV awards, Popcorn Awards, MOBO
and the rest. In fact these awards are rarely mentioned when introducing a
person because they are not that big. Then there those major awards like PAM
awards, these are mentioned when its all an artist has. In the US this would be
American Music Awards, BET Awards, Billboard Awards and Country Music Awards just
to mention the few. Then we have the internationally acclaimed awards like
Grammy, World Music Awards, Brits and some few others. Down to Africa, we have
few respectable music awards like KORA awards (which have not taken place in
years) and probably the Channel O music awards.
If an artist is to be rated from the sales to the respected
awards, you will wonder which criteria was used to name Chameleon Uganda’s
undisputed number one or sixth in Africa. True dude has had a couple of hits in
the East African region but that’s all. And when you think about it, no one
fails to make a regional hit as long as they can put a few kiswahilli words
together.
Mama mia was truly an East African sensational but does he
have any other Mama mias as long as this region is concerned? We may be calling
him an East African superstar when in reality all he did was start his career
in Kenya, become huge in Uganda and made one East African mega hit. I’ve
personally talked to many Kenyan friends and todate the chameleon song they
praise is Mama mia not any other in fact one told me he has not had any other Chameleon
song but the classic.
Kanye west one of the most respected rappers in the world
joined active music in 2004 and between then and today, he boasts of sixteen
Grammy awards and over 50 nominations, that’s why he rightly calls himself the
rap god because he has nothing to explain. The album sales and various awards
say it all. It’s so disturbing that we can’t say the same about Jose Chameleon.
We all know he’s been nominated once for KORA, MTV MAMA,
MOBO international awards but that’s all he never wins and we all know no one
remembers that dude that didn’t show up and that dude was Jose Chameleon.
When I see him on TV telling scribes that he’s Africa’s
number six, he comes off as a musician who almost had it but may be lost it
because of some worthless fight with Bobi Wine.
Deep down Chameleon knows he’s not Africa’s number six and
when he goes to bed he truly understands Radio and Bebe cool are way better
singers than he is. I know he wishes he had all the international exposure and
accolades Keko, Maurice Kirya or even Bebe Cool. I won’t mention Navio because
much as he won that award in Malaysia, we are not sure of the organizers (who
know it was a family award show).
When I talk about the number one artist in the land I want
to talk about someone who has flown the Ugandan flag from the dusty streets of
kampala to the Bigbrother house to TV stations in Europe (am not talking of
Ugandan TV stations in the Diaspora). Chameleon has not achieved that beyond
the East African community yet when you research about African Music you will
realize Keko and Maurice feature prominently. Actually at the moment Keko’s make you Dance Video is prominently
featuring on Trace TV Urban Chart show and Maurice Kirya’s Don’t wanna fight is
making it big on the continental platforms.
Chameleon is not the number one artist in the country but
the most influential and commercial artist to ever get on a Ugandan stage.
Influential people are so good that they make you believe they are better than
all the rest. Influential people are names, slogans and they generate a lot of
interest from the public. Ugandans have failed to tell the difference between
influential and best though these are totally different. Justin Beiber, Rihanna
and Nicki Minaj are the most influential pop stars in the world but none of
them is considered the best and so is Chameleon in Uganda.
When it comes to him being Africa’s number six, does anyone
know who ranked the artists? Well it was some Kenyan website Mwakilisha.com a
site by Kenyans in the Diaspora. The list must have been done probably by
someone who was definitely narrow minded about African music. He names 2Face,
Psquare, Dbanj, Akon, Chameleon, Nameless and others. This website is then
contradicted by another Kenyan blog where Chameleon is ranked 29th.
Mwakilisha doesn’t have a lot of details as to why the artists were put in
their positions its like someone underlined the few African artists he knew and
published to the web.
Surprisingly last year, Forbes published a list of Africa’s
top 49 celebrities and almost three quarters of these were musicians, if you
want to know if Chameleon featured, he didn’t. only one East African artist
made the list Eric Wainana which says a lot of ugandan music and East African
music atlarge. Remember forbes is the most trusted as long as showbiz ranks are
concerned, the ball is in your hands now after all is said do you really
believe Jose Chameleon is Africa’s number six?
At first I wanted to do it and I couldn’t, then I tried the second time and I still couldn’t. At one time I wondered if it was too early for me to make such a move.
Many may be wondering what am talking about, probably some weird minds are in an overdrive but hey, cut the crap.
Just this time in 2010, everyone was mourning the July bombings that much as I would have wanted to write about them, it wasn’t the right time to make jokes about death and as you know I’ve just put this page up which is totally not my fault am not saying its anyone’s fault.
Of course its common knowledge that at the same time in 2010 grief was all over the place. Word is that a number of people without scruples misunderstood a holy book, wired them selves and forced a huge number of Christians to have breakfast with Jesus and a number of Muslims into Abraham’s chest. The total was 76.
They had gone to watch a game where some team from Hell was battling another equally dangerous team. Some Iniesta dude sealed it with a goal (how I have hated him since)
The team from Hell won, it was called Barcelona. I mean no, many of their players were from that team. These guys were not handsome but beautiful. They are the only people that make Salvador feel ugly (I mean they have the looks, body, locks plus they have a real job where they kick some leather).
Like many Ugandans, that team haunts my nightmares, they won everything a footballer needs, then they invaded tennis fronting some short guy then cycling and Tour de France (are those two similar?). As a country they won everything Obama wished for America. They literally ruled every sport that is played by humans (save for the goat races, Ugandans won that). To rub it in our face just like a conclusion that 99% of their country name means Pain, one of their hair stylists scored with our music princess Cindy. I had a lot of hopes but that guy!
Truly, now you understand why that team is bad news for me. When that snobby Iniesta scored his goal of misery, he celebrated the same way he did when he dashed Chelsea’s hopes in 2009, that year Michael Jackson died. And just this year they took my Italy to school (oh I hate you Spain). In 2010 when they chanted their triumph, Ugandans were organizing burials.
And that attacker, who I guess missed the goal, was a coward. He is the reason many Ugandans divorced from the game they highly cherished. He is the reason a number of artists cancelled shows, even Mega Dee cancelled his (we didn’t even know he had a show).
It’s because of him that Blitz and Swagg started reporting beef (am not sure about that). To say that your doing was bad is polite, really? On that day just like WBS says, it’s the night the pearl of Africa turned pale, and much as this article comes a week after the memorial, people, the lost ones we love you.
